to my best friend

you are my life line.

when i'm blinded by darkness,
you show me the way.
ever patient, ever caring, ever loving...
when it all falls apart,
you make me okay.

when i am weak you lift me
and help me go on
never judging, never leaving, always loving...
but i worry i'll hurt you
cause something feels wrong.

I wonder the nature
of your love for me.
always gazing, always smiling, always loving...
because breaking your heart
would be the end of me.

Let it rain

Let it rain rain rain,
(my sorrow-sharing friend).
Pour harder, splash violently,
whipping in the wind.

Thunder and crash,
as you rip through the night.
Your rage is my comfort
when I’ve no strength to fight.

Now hurt me so I may forget
my worst pain.
Cry louder, oh tears,
pouring down from Heaven.

Drown out my troubles
with your own sad song.
Now drench me and
wash away all that is wrong.

God?

God, are you there? Do you see? Am I justified? I know I am never justified, but I hope you will forgive me...I can't do this anymore. I'm not crazy. He is. I made a mistake...and made it worse by staying so long. Now I will traumatize my kids...more than they already are. I am so out of here the day I graduate! Please put them back together again, after we have broken them to pieces.
Amen

Closed Path

I thought that my voyage had come to its end

at the last limit of my power,

---that the path before me was closed,

that provisions were exhausted

and the time come to take shelter in a silent obscurity.

But I find that thy will knows no end in me.

And when old words die out on the tongue,

new melodies break forth from the heart;

and where the old tracks are lost,

new country is revealed with its wonders.

-Rabindranath Tagore

lonliness

A lonely soul is like a bird
hovering over miles and miles of vast ocean
with nowhere to land.
His wings are heavy, his breath exhausted.
His heart battles between the desire to give up
and the seemingly irresistible urge
to believe false hope,
to find temporary respite on some twig,
some fragile, rotted tree branch,
which will surely crumble and sink
the moment his claw touches it.
He musters the strength to fly
from mirage to mirage,
looking, yet not touching,
over-ruling his desperate heart,
knowing his only true hope is patience.


The photographer calls this one, "In the search of love."

yay!

I got carded tonight! made my day! thanks cashier lady :-)

trapped in the present

my body is trapped in the present,
my heart lives in the future.
how does my body make it through each day
while my soul sleeps?
i perform my daily tasks,
i wake up;
i rush;
i work;
i stress;
i survive the day;
i sleep...
sometimes i sleep.
how long can i go on,
dead on the inside,
yet living life with my body?
will i make it up this mountain?
is there peace on the other side?
my present is my past.
how can i stay here?
i want to fly away.